wtorek, 19 kwietnia 2016


There is cloudy and freezing day in the city today. I sat in my bed an hour ago when I back from school and till now I was sitting and just breathing and listening to absolute quiet in home. I never was a type that like sitting in dark and quiet space that was my fear even when I fall a sleep I have to to turn on my tv because I just hate that feeling of loneliness in my space but at least that was much need now I think.

After such a hard day when nothing turns right and seems like every plan I had just fall I was needed to breathe it was hard because of my runny nose, paper work that is growing in front of me because of this mountain of dishes that waits to finally be cleaned up and this chaos in my room that is growing and almost covering me.

I turned off my phone covered the windows and I started to scrolling my old photos and videos and it seems like I was laughing for the first time in a few days and that makes me cry. Maybe it's just a woman thing or my thing to acting like that so maybe that's ok.

Back to the point that was a moment when I started talking to myself on those photos and videos and I realize that I'm this person on this screen I'm happy and lucky to have have this messy, unorganized and absolutely chaotic un perfect but beautiful life and I created a little note to myself in future to always remember that.

Dear future self,

Stop being sad and mad on life, you can do whatever you want and nothing can stop you. Every Time when you feel overwhelmed remember that you have an awesome family to laugh with, an amazing boyfriend who loves you and tells you that everyday, you have friends and passion that's everything you need. That's the perfect life and it's yours take it and go. Do never forget about this.

your happy self